I'll be your best friend
by lilyhearted
Summary: Kurt and Blaine have been best friends since high school. Then something leaves Blaine in pieces and Kurt's left to pick them up, as he's always done. Will now be the time for Blaine to realize Kurt's feelings for him?
1. Chapter 1

_And you'll be my valentine._

/A/N: Alright! My first attempt at fanfiction! I guess I should say the title of the piece comes from Fergi's "Big Girls Don't Cry". I'm usually really bad at naming things, and I was thinking along the lines of "I can be your best friend" then the lyrics popped into my head and they just seemed to fit. Well that line anyway.

This goes pretty much AU after Silly Love Songs. Kurt and Blaine remained best friends and Blaine never caught on that Kurt liked him, or developed feelings for him. The rest I'm hoping you'll read to find out. The rating is for mild swearing, and stuff that might happen in the future, we'll see. Oh, DISCLAIMER, No I don't own them; I wish I did but I don't. Everything Glee belongs to someone else. And now onto what you came for./

Kurt wandered through the elegant gardens surrounding the hotel behind him. He would have stopped to consider the beautiful flowers lacing themselves through the greenery had he not been looking for something-or rather someone.

He could hear it now, the soft sounds of someone just beyond the hedge to his left. Kurt knew who it was, everyone else had moved back into the hotel, trying to figure out the confusing mess this whole ordeal had turned into. He picked up his pace, turning the corner and letting out a small sigh of relief despite the sight that greeted him.

There sat Blaine Anderson, his face in his hands and his back shaking in sobs. He looked rumpled, his usually gelled down curly mass of black hair sticking up randomly from where Blaine had run his hands through it. His bow tie was undone, hanging loosely around his neck and it appeared his suit coat had been tossed off a while ago.

Kurt, quietly as he could, moved over to the stone bench his friend was sitting on, slipping onto the cold surface beside him. His hand went automatically to Blaine's back rubbing soothing circles. Beautiful hazel eyes were rimmed with red as they looked up at Kurt.

Kurt didn't say anything, merely offering his arms as an invitation. Blaine moved into them quickly, burying his face in Kurt's shoulder and letting his tears soak the designer fabric there. Kurt tried to ignore the fact that this suit had cost a small fortune, and instead focused on comforting his best friend.

"It'll be alright" Kurt said soothingly, not really sure what else to say in this situation. What does one say to a man that got left at the altar? How do you comfort someone who just had his heart ripped apart?

Kurt didn't even feel up to feeling the least bit of hope about his and Blaine's situation. Sure, he'd been pining after one Blaine Anderson since practically the moment they met, but that didn't mean he was going to take advantage of his friend's distressed state. Mostly he just wanted to hunt down Jeremiah and knock him around a little for doing this to Blaine.

That's right, Jeremiah. The one who had so coldly turned down Blaine so many years ago on Valentine's Day? He'd come back into Blaine's life shortly after he'd graduated, simply stating that since he was legal now, perhaps they could try a relationship.

Kurt had been prepared to tell the guy off left and right for even saying something like that after what he'd said on that day. But he'd looked over at Blaine, and he just looked so damn happy, Kurt simply couldn't do it. As much as it hurt his heart, he wouldn't want to deny Blaine happiness. He cared about him too much.

Kurt and Blaine? It had never happened. No matter how many times Kurt had wished it backwards and forwards, they remained best friends. Blaine had never caught on, always oblivious to Kurt's feelings. But that was alright, he reasoned that as long as he was by Blaine's side he could be content.

He had convinced himself over the years that it wasn't real love anyway. Real love was when you found out the other person had feelings for you too. Love was shared between two people, not this one sided affection that Kurt had. He'd learned that from Finn, even if what he felt for Finn was one quarter of what he felt for Blaine.

Anyway, they had continued being best friends after high school. They saw each other a few times a week, despite Jeremiah's complaining that they spent too much time together. They'd sit down in coffee shops and just talk, like they used to do when they were teenagers. Of course now they were both twenty-five and had their own careers.

Blaine and Jeremiah had managed to stay together all these years, though Kurt still didn't like the latter. Jeremiah was a jerk, and Blaine just seemed to take it. So Kurt didn't say anything about it, because Blaine still had that happy face whenever he talked about him.

Kurt was surprised when Jeremiah accepted Blaine's proposal. Maybe, just maybe, this guy loved Blaine too?

"Is everything in place?" Kurt spoke into the headset. It was the moments before the wedding, and as it's planner, Kurt was on top of things. Being that he was also a best man, he had a designer suit on as he scurried around the hotel.

A young lady in a purple dress hurried up to him, "Kurt! Neither Blaine or Jeremiah is down here yet. And the guests are already taking their seats" She said hurriedly. Kurt sighed, taking off his headpiece and handing it to the woman.

"You take over Linda, I'll go grab Blaine. Tell someone to check on Jeremiah" He said to his right hand moving down the hallway they had booked the rooms in for the wedding. He rubbed at his temple, trying to keep his stress level down lest it be the cause of horrendous wrinkles. Kurt knocked on the door before hastily stepping in.

"Blaine Anderson, what are you doing and why aren't you downstairs? I'll have you know I took time out of my busy schedule to plan this wedding, and for free no less!" Kurt raised an eyebrow at the man standing in front of the mirror. Blaine shot him a sheepish grin in the reflection and turned around.

"Sorry Kurt, just nervous I guess" Blaine smiled, laughing when Kurt rolled his eyes. He walked out the door and Kurt followed, ushering him to the correct place.

Blaine smiles charmingly at him over his shoulder and Kurt pretty much instantly forgives him for being late. That smile always gets what Blaine wants. Instead of lingering on that thought though, he pushes Blaine through the doors and into the wedding hall.

"Kurt! You can stop pushing me already, I get it" Blaine laughed stepping up to his place in front of the altar. He looks dashing, well except for-

"Blaine, your tie is crooked" Kurt sighed reaching over with his long pale fingers to straighten the fabric, looking up to find Blaine smiling down at him.

"You know you're always going to be my best friend right" He asks with a decidedly goofy grin. Those words send a pang through Kurt's heart, even if he has heard them many times before.

"I know Blaine, and you'll always be mine" Kurt said stepping back to make sure the tie was now in place. He glances to the side to see a blur of purple and red hair in the corner of his eye. He turns catching Linda's eye and gives her a questioning look to which she responds with throwing her hands up in the universal signal of 'I don't know'. Kurt grumbles to himself as he steps down preparing to find him himself when Blaine's phone buzzes.

Now, Kurt sat in the garden while his best friend cries on his shoulder. Because Jeremiah had left him at the altar with a text message saying 'Sorry, this just isn't going to work out'.

Kurt held Blaine until he could hear his breath start to slow down. Blaine pulled back, wiping at his eyes and an apologetic smile on his face. Kurt reached out to smooth down his hair, trying to work it into something reasonable. Blaine laughed slightly, but it was a little hollow.

Blue-green eyes met Blaine's hazel and Kurt gave Blaine a small smile. He let his hands drop from where they were messing with his hair. Both felt like someone should say something.

"So, I've had an extra room in my flat ever since Rachel moved out. Would you want to take it?" Kurt looked up hopefully.

"Yeah, I think I would" The voice was a little rough, but decisive.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Second chapter! It's three-thirty in the morning so I'm sorry if there are mistakes or something is off. I hope you like it! Thank you to everyone who read it! I honestly wasn't expecting this many people to actually read it. There will be more chapters, though I'm not sure how many. I do know that unless I change my mind about where I'm going with this that there will be more than two more. Anyway, I hope you like the second chapter. It's a little more happy than the first I think./

"What do you mean the shipment won't be in until next week?" Kurt said into the phone drumming his fingers along the edge of the table. The voice on the other end of the line was high pitched in worry, rushing her words as to try not to upset the man on the other end any further.

"No, don't freak out about it Linda. I'll handle it, I work best under pressure anyway" He sighed slumping against the counter. He knew he should have gone into work today, Linda was just too frazzled when put under all the pressure he usually dealt with. If he wasn't supposed to be helping his best friend move in today, he would have.

As it was, he was currently waiting on Blaine to bring his stuff over. He'd told Kurt not to worry about helping him move things, muttering something about free slave labor. So Kurt had been impatiently flipping through a magazine when Linda had called him, ready to pull her hair out.

There was swift knocking at the door and Kurt tucked the handheld between his shoulder and his ear, mumbling more reassurances to his assistant. He swiftly unlocked the door holding open the door for a man carrying a large cardboard box. The man stepped inside, setting down the box and turning around to reveal-

"Wes!" Kurt said, obviously pleasantly surprised. At Linda's confusion he muttered that he'd call her later. Kurt turned to the asian, pulling the man into a tight hug. Wes laughed but returned the gesture; it had been a long time since the former Warblers had seen one another.

"Hey no fair what about us?" Kurt heard behind him. He turned around to find David sitting on his own equally large box then across to where Nick and Jeff were setting down theirs. Kurt held out his arms with a smirk on his face. All three moved in and hugged him and didn't move until Kurt started to complain about not being able to breathe.

"What are you doing here?" Kurt asked now that he'd been freed, moving to lean against the center counter.

"We were enlisted as slave labor" David grumbled, he had moved back to sit on his box.

"Ah, so where is Blaine?"

"The hobbit should be downstairs with the giant; they said they could get the last few boxes"

"Who is the g-"

"Little bro!" A very excited Finn Hudson set down the two boxes he was carrying and threw an arm around Kurt. His hand moved up and mussed Kurt's hair, for which it was smacked.

"How many times do I have to tell you Finn? I'm older than you."

"Yeah, but you're smaller than I am"

"He has a valid point Kurt" Wes laughed and though Kurt frowned he didn't say anything further. He looked instead to the open door, waiting for Blaine to show up. He burst into laughter as Blaine came through the door carrying a box large enough that he couldn't see over it. He stumbled into the room quickly placing the box on the floor and readjusting the strap on his shoulder for the guitar on his back.

"That should be all of it" He said triumphantly smiling as he looked at the multitude of cardboard boxes. Kurt had to admit it was nice to see Blaine smile again; it had become less frequent after Jeremiah had left him. As much as Kurt hated it, Jeremiah had always made Blaine smile.

"So how did you get these clowns to help? And why is Finn here?" Kurt asked poking Finn in his side to get him to drop his arm from Kurt's shoulder. Knowing his clumsy step-brother, he'd put wrinkles in the Marc Jacobs shirt.

"They were all in town near here and all excited at the prospect of seeing you. That….and I might have promised to feed them pizza. I needed extra muscle and I know Finn lives around here, so I called him up. He said he hadn't seen you in a while and I told him I'd add in a pizza for him" Blaine shrugged.

"That makes sense then. Honestly you'd think you guys would get over your infatuation with eating after high school" Kurt sighed shaking his head.

"Never dude" Jeff grinned coming over to pat Kurt's shoulder, to which Kurt gave him a pointed look. Jeff laughed but backed away with his hands up, knowing how serious Kurt was about his fashion.

"Finn, why don't you help Blaine put his stuff in his room while the Warblers and I catch up. It's the first room on your right down the hall" Kurt pointed to the left where the little hallway was located. Finn picked up a box and started heading for the room, obviously just wanting to get this over with and move on to pizza. Blaine hung back a little, debating on staying for the catch up, but Kurt shooed him with a hand.

"How's he doing?" Was the first question out of Nick's mouth after Blaine left the room after towing the rest of the boxes to his room.

"As good as he can be doing, I suppose. Blaine's talked to me a little, but he's been pretty quiet about it other than when it was right after what happened"

"Ah he's trying to close down his emotions again?" David murmured.

"It looks that way; I just really hope he doesn't blow up like last time"

"That was a mess, Kurt I swear you looked like you were ready to strangle someone" Jeff laughed, trying to bring a little humor into this tense atmosphere.

"I was, I hadn't thought he'd hurt Blaine that bad"

"And after all that I can't believe he still hasn't noticed that you-"Wes was cut off by Kurt.

"Shut it! He doesn't need to know, I'm perfectly happy being his best friend"

"Kurt seriously-"Wes started.

"I mean it. Anyway this is supposed to be us catching up, what have you guys been up to the past few years?" Kurt's face softened into a smile, trying like Jeff had to lighten the room.

"Those two haven't changed a bit, still blissfully together, following after Blainey-boy" Wes gestured a thumb to Nick and Jeff, who by coincidence had been staring at one another.

"Shut it Wesley! At least we have love for an actual person, not your weird love for gavels. I swear to god, nobody even blinked an eye when you said you were becoming a judge" Jeff snorted.

"That's right! Blaine told me about you two joining is band. And secondly Wes, really?" Kurt couldn't help the laughter, sometimes these guys were just too much "What about you David?"

"I'm the only one married; Lily and I actually live not far from here. I work at my dad's law firm, probably going to take it over" David held up his left hand, a silver band proudly on display.

"That's great! Also very predictable, but I'm still happy for you." Kurt vaguely remembered seeing Lily at the wedding; she'd been wearing a stylish green dress.

"Everyone better tell me what they want on their pizzas, I'm ordering now" Blaine called stepping into the room again. His room was as finished as it was going to get today; he wasn't too focused on organization anyway.

The boys scrambled to tell Blaine their orders, leaving Kurt behind to watch from his place leaning on the counter. It was nice to have everyone over, ever since Rachel had moved out it had seemed a little lonely in his flat. Now of course, loud and obnoxious boys filled the silence. But Kurt didn't mind too much.

It was good to see all of them again. While Blaine had kept in touch with all of them, Kurt hadn't. He'd been too caught up with his career; he'd barely had enough room left in his brain for both Blaine and Mercedes, his best friends. But to see them all again brought back a lot of memories from his high school days.

The pizza arrived about an hour later; the boys fell on them like birds of prey. While eating his own single slice of pizza, he observed the rest of the group. Nick was chatting with Finn about some football game, Nick was mentioning something about music to Blaine, and Wes and David had fallen easily back into talking about things nobody really understood. Kurt smiled as he saw Nick and Jeff's intertwined hands.

Everyone except Blaine and Kurt left after the pizza boxes had been shoved into the trash. They all agreed they needed to meet up again, maybe at one of Blaine, Jeff, and Nick's gigs. The door closed and a silence filled the air. It was peaceful and unsettling at the same time.

"So, my room is at the end of the hall, the bathroom is on the left, and the other door is my work room which you probably never want to enter" Kurt said turning around to Blaine. He was surprised to see sort of a sad look on the curly haired male's face. Sighing, Kurt walked over and wrapped him in a hug. Blaine must have been holding onto is smile for the guys.

"It will get better" He whispered, then pulled back "I'm going to head to bed for tonight; I've got to go to work tomorrow. Goodnight Blaine."

Kurt didn't wait for an answer, just walked down the hall toward his room. There was nothing more he could do to comfort Blaine, because he was the best friend. He'd always be the best friend.


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: Here you are! Chapter three is here. I incorporated music into this one, the song is Arms by Christina Perri. I originally had put a different song into this, but then I heard that one and it just seemed to fit to me. I also tried to add some more light hearted parts into the chapter, it probably didn't work. But for those of you who wanted it there was some realization to what a jerk Jeremiah was. I don't know if it qualifies as 'bashing' but I tried to make it as realistic as I could. I kind of realized when I was writing this that I've been sort of writing this from Kurt's point of view, including all his emotions. I think I'll keep it that way until I get to a later chapter, then I'll include Blaine's. Also, these chapters have been getting progressively longer, I don't know how to take that. Anyway, I hope you guys like it./

Blaine strummed absently at his guitar, staring into space. The chords and notes hadn't formed any signs of a piece of music yet, but knowing Blaine, it wouldn't take long.

Kurt had his hands stuck in warm sudsy water, cursing his neglect to put a dishwasher in his kitchen. Hand washing his dishes was tedious, especially now that the dishes had doubled with the addition of another person. Still, having dirty dishes on the counter was not something Kurt Hummel tolerated.

It had been nearly two weeks since Blaine had moved in, and the two seemed to function pretty well as roommates. Then again, they had roomed together at Dalton, so it was no surprise. But Blaine still seemed rather sullen, and Kurt was tiring of his moping. He missed the goofball that he'd fallen for.

Blaine's fingers seemed to pick up a tune, a soft melody filling the air. Kurt couldn't quite place the notes; he paused in scrubbing a plate to listen. It was only when Blaine's voice started to accompany his guitar that Kurt finally recognized it.

_I never thought that you would be the one to hold my heart_

_But you came around and you knocked me off the ground from the start_

Kurt couldn't help but feel a pinch of sadness, knowing Blaine was singing about Jeremiah. But, he couldn't help but apply the lyrics to himself too. Kurt had never thought he would actually find someone he cared about as much as Blaine, and from the very moment he had seen him on that staircase.

_You put your arms around me_

_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

Kurt listened quietly to him sing, the dishes forgotten. Blaine sounded lost, and Kurt didn't want to turn around and see the emotions that were always clearly shown on his face. It was only when Blaine paused that Kurt joined in with the next lyric.

_How many times will let you me change my mind and turn around_

_I can't decide if I'll let you save my life or if I'll drown_

Kurt continued, though Blaine dropped away, his still clear and strong countertenor filling the air. He could feel these words, why had Blaine been so unintentionally cruel in choosing a song that seemed to fit his feelings?

_I hope that you see right through my walls_

_I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling_

_I'll never let a love get so close_

_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

Blaine joined in with him now, their voices mixing as well as they had when both had been seventeen. It made Kurt want to throw the plate he had been washing on the ground, if nothing else than to have the satisfaction of making it shatter.

_The world is coming down on me and I can't find a reason to be loved_

_I never wanna leave you but I can't make you bleed if I'm alone_

_You put your arms around me_

_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

_I hope that you see right through my walls_

_I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling_

_I'll never let a love get so close_

_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

Blaine's voice and guitar dropped away, leaving Kurt to sing the next verse. Kurt's voice wavered slightly due to the tears forming in his eyes. He'd promised himself he'd never cry over Blaine, but it seemed like he couldn't hold them in anymore.

_I tried my best to never let you in to see the truth_

_And I've never opened up_

_I've never truly loved 'Till you put your arms around me_

_And I believe that it's easier for you to let me go_

Blaine picked up the lyrics when Kurt stopped, though the counter tenor joined in softly after a moment. The two continued through the song.

_I hope that you see right through my walls_

_I hope that you catch me, 'cause I'm already falling_

_I'll never let a love get so close_

_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

Blaine stopped playing, leaving their two bare broken voices to sing the last words.

_You put your arms around me and I'm home_

Kurt could see them, all the times when Blaine had held him close; the first time they had met, Kurt breaking down as he explained the situation at McKinley, the time after Karofsky had kissed Kurt, his first day at Dalton, whenever he was feeling the least bit homesick, and all the other points in his life when Blaine had felt the need to comfort him. Every single time, he couldn't help the overwhelming calm feeling he got, it felt like home.

He realized Blaine had been silent this entire time and worried that his friend might be hurting, Kurt wiped his hands off and brushed away the tears on his cheeks. He turned around not to find Blaine crying, but his face was contorted in thought.

"I'm done" Blaine said finally, resolutely. Kurt raised his brows, wondering exactly what Blaine was talking about. He didn't have time to ask though, Blaine started talking again.

"I'm done walking around all mopey because of one guy!" Blaine seemed to get more riled up standing and throwing his guitar back on the couch. "He didn't even treat me that well, he could be a jerk actually. He never wanted me to hang out with my friends, he barely let me have the band, he was so controlling. And then he left me! On our wedding day, I can't believe it took me this long to realize it"

As Blaine ranted he paced the living room, throwing his hands up to add exclamation to his words. He finally stopped at the kitchen counter, where Kurt was standing on the other side. He looked expectantly at Kurt.

"He did have ridiculous hair" Kurt allotted with a frown. This, of course caused Blaine to break into laughter. Kurt didn't know whether to be relieved or concerned.

Finally, Blaine's laughter seemed to drift off and his eyes dropped to the tabletop, a frown on his lips. All of this had left Kurt startled, but seeing as this was his best friend, he probably needed to do something.

"Want to watch sappy chick flicks on the couch until we either cry our eyes out or fall asleep?" Kurt asked, trying to keep his own pain out of his voice and instead focus solely on helping Blaine.

"Yeah, I really would" Blaine smiled softly, tilting his brilliant hazel gaze up to meet Kurt's. He moved from the counter and back to where he had left his guitar, clearing it away from the couch and back into it's case.

Kurt pulled out the plug on the sink, watching as the soapy water swirled down the drain. The dishes could always be done tomorrow. He ignored the fact that they probably wouldn't have been left for anyone else.

He turned to find Blaine already settled on the couch, clearly waiting for Kurt to come and start up a movie. Kurt almost found it funny how Blaine was still inept when operating electronic devices. He remembered fondly that back when they were roommates Blaine had managed to break three DVD players.

Kurt held up the case for Titanic, asking Blaine silently for his choice. At his nod, Kurt inserted the DVD and moved over to settle on the couch with Blaine.

The movie started, and Kurt was surprised when Blaine leaned over and gently rested his head on Kurt's shoulder. He was trying to focus on the film, but Blaine started talking and he couldn't really concentrate on Leo anymore.

"Your voice sounds just like it did in high school. You really should have gone into music"

"I love fashion, as much as I love music, it has always been fashion. Music was always more your thing"

"Yeah, I meant to tell you by the way, your new line is gorgeous"

"You did tell me Blaine, last month"

"Did I? Oh well, it is. Think I could snag a thing or two as best friends with the designer?"

"Blaine Anderson, are you using me?"

"Only for your wonderful designer clothes my darling"

"Well, I suppose that's alright then. We all do things in the name of fashion"

"I knew you would understand. Anyway, seriously Kurt, you should perform with us sometime"

"With your band?"

"Yeah, it could be fun"

"Maybe"

"You're still coming to our next show right? You haven't been to one since Jeff and Nick joined"

"I'm coming, Finn and Rachel are even coming in to town. We're all going together"

"Cool, just making sure. Thanks for being an awesome best friend Kurt"

Kurt didn't say anything else, and he didn't have to. As they had been talking, Blaine's voice had been steadily getting drowsier. As Kurt glanced to his left it was to see Blaine had fallen asleep on his shoulder. He couldn't help but notice the way the dark lashes fell across his cheeks.

The movie was still on, despite no one having actually watched it. He reached over and flicked it off, leaving the room dark. Well, dark except for the constant lights of New York, which cast a faint glow across the room.

Kurt carefully removed himself from underneath Blaine, grateful the young man was such a heavy sleeper. He laid him down on the couch, knowing there was no way he would be able to carry Blaine to his room, despite his slight advantage in height.

He went into Blaine's room and snatched the blanket he knew Blaine kept at the end of the bed in case he got cold. Carefully, Kurt draped the blanket over Blaine's unconscious body. Closing his eyes, he leaned down and pressed a soft kiss into Blaine's unruly curls.

Kurt leaned away slowly and turned toward his room. Without looking back, he headed down the hall and into his own room. He plopped onto the bed, for once not caring about wrinkling his designer clothes as he burrowed into the covers.

Kurt had many conflicting emotions, and not sure what to do about a single one.


	4. Chapter 4

A/N: I have brought you chapter four. In this chapter we see an unexpected character give Kurt advice, which eventually leads into some emotional drama in the next chapters. You'll see why. I've also decided that unless I change my mind, this is going to have about three more chapters, maybe two. The next two/one will also be more from Blaine's perspective. The very last will be Kurt again. I featured music in this again, though it doesn't fit the story as well as in the last. I debated even including it, but I figured as this was Kurt coming to hear Blaine sing, I needed music. Besides, then I can include Blaine's cute little speech. The song is Keep Your Head Up by Andy Grammer. Thank you to everyone who is bothering to read my little story, and to the few of you who review it. Your reviews honestly make me smile every time I get a new one/

"Kurt!"

A mass of brown hair flew at Kurt nearly bowling him over in enthusiasm. Kurt struggled to regain his breath as the mass, now identifiable as human, was pried off him by his step-brother. Rachel Berry smiled up at him, though letting go of the tight hold of him.

"I know I haven't seen you in a while Rachel, but was nearly crushing my sternum really necessary?" Kurt chided. He was surprised when the young woman came flying at him again, though with less of the first's death grip.

"Oh Kurt, how I missed you and your bitchy ways" Rachel grinned widely pressing her face into his chest. Kurt tried to pry his arms free, but for Rachel's lack in stature she made up for in her vice like hold.

Finally, Rachel relinquished her hold on the countertenor. She took a step back smoothing out her dress, which Kurt had to admit was fashionable. New York and stardom had done wonders for the small diva's wardrobe, and Kurt approved.

"Uh, guys, I know you have, like, lots of catching up to do, but if we don't leave now we'll miss the first song" Finn interrupted just as Rachel was about to open her mouth again. Sighing, Rachel shut her mouth and turned, reaching out to take Finn's hand.

The pair started walking out of Kurt's flat, leaving Kurt with the impression that he should follow. He grabbed his keys off the counter and headed out the door, locking it behind him. He couldn't see Finn and Rachel down the hallway, but could assume they were already heading downstairs.

He caught up to them after they had already exited the building and were walking along the streets, their connecting hands swinging between them. Kurt paused slightly behind them, a wave of jealousy hitting him hard. No, he wasn't jealous of Rachel, or even Finn for that matter. He was jealous of what they had.

He'd tried going out with other people, all through his high school and college years. They had all been nice and decent people, but none had lasted long, not with his feelings for Blaine still lingering around. Kurt didn't feel right dating someone when he obviously still had feelings for someone.

Kurt eventually took those last few steps, closing the gap between him and the pair. Rachel immediately started chattering at him, something he only half listened to. He answered at all the right times though, and that was enough for Rachel.

Thankfully, the bar where Blaine was playing in wasn't that far from the flat. They arrived about ten minutes after they had started walking. The place was rather crowded, not surprising for a Saturday night, but the fact that multiple live bands would be playing was also a draw. The three wrestled their way through the crowd, avoiding getting any drinks spilled on them.

A crooning Jazz band was just finishing their set, quickly thanking the crowd before stepping off the stage. They were replaced by Blaine's band, including Nick and Jeff who waved at Kurt enthusiastically. Blaine was yet to be seen.

Kurt had just pressed the cool glass of beer he'd acquired to his lips when Blaine finally took the stage. His gaze seemed to search the crowd before they settled on Kurt and he lit up like a child at Christmas. Kurt chuckled into his glass when Blaine started waving, holding up a hand to return the gesture.

Nick came up behind Blaine and shoved him toward the microphone; Blaine looked to it and seemed to remember what he was supposed to be doing. Blaine stepped up, his fingers wrapping around the microphone as he leaned forward to speak into it.

"Alright everyone, I know it's been a while since I've had the pleasure of seeing you all. Recently I went through something that I thought would break me. Now, I've realized that it wasn't the end of the world. I can stand here and safely say it didn't kill me.

But, I don't know what would have happened if my best friend hadn't been there. He picked me up, gave me a place to stay, even allowed me to cry into his prized and ridiculously expensive clothes. He's amazing, and made me realize that there wasn't any use in my moping. So I guess the first song tonight is dedicated to him" Blaine finished, signaling to the band to start.

_I've been waiting on the sunset_

_Bills on my mindset_

_I can get deny they're getting high_

_Higher than my income_

_My income's breadcrumbs_

_I've been trying to survive_

Kurt smiles slightly, this isn't exactly the kind of song he wishes Blaine would dedicate to him, but it's nice all the same. His foot taps to the rhythm, closing his eyes as he sips more of his beer.

_The glow that the sun gives_

_Right around sunset_

_Helps me realize_

_This is just a journey_

_Drop your worries_

_You are gonna turn out fine._

_Oh, you'll turn out fine._

_Fine, oh, you'll turn out fine._

Rachel and Finn have disappeared from his side, presumably to go off and kiss. They were disgustingly attached like that. Kurt plopped onto one of the barstools, spinning around do that he could watch Blaine perform.

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_You gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

"Hello Kurt" The voice broke through Kurt's concentration on the stage. Kurt froze, turning his head a little to see who the voice belonged to. His eyes widened in shock, because there, sitting right fucking there was him.

Jeremiah.

_I know it's hard, know it's hard,_

_To remember sometimes,_

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

"What are you doing here?" Kurt hissed setting his drink down with a harsh clunk. He was ready to do whatever he could to get Jeremiah out of this bar before Blaine saw him.

_I've got my hands in my pockets,_

_Kickin these rocks._

_Its kinda hard to watch this life go by._

_I'm buyin in the skeptics,_

_Skeptics mess with, the confidence in my eyes_

"Relax; I'm not here to upset him. I actually stopped into this bar by coincidence" Jeremiah sighed, picking up his own drink and taking a sip.

_I'm seeing all the angles, starts to get tangled_

_I start to compromise_

_My life and the purpose._

_Is it all worth it,_

_Am I gonna turn out fine?_

_Oh, you'll turn out fine._

_Fine, oh, you'll turn out fine._

"Really? Then why the hell are you still here?" Kurt was close to seething, and debating the consequences of putting a fist to Jeremiah's face.

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_You gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

"I saw you and I was curious, have you told him yet?" Jeremiah questioned innocently, looking at Kurt over the rim of his glass.

_I know it's hard, know it's hard,_

_To remember sometimes,_

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

"Told him what?" Kurt honestly didn't know where Jeremiah was going with this. Was this some scheme to hurt Blaine further?

_Only rainbows after rain_

_The sun will always come again._

_It's a circle, circling,_

_Around again, it comes around again._

"That you love him" Jeremiah answered easily. Kurt froze for the second time that night, his fingers stilling from where they had been tracing patterns on the outside of his glass.

_Only rainbows after rain_

_The sun will always come again._

_It's a circle, circling,_

_Around again, it comes around,_

"What are you talking about?" Kurt tried to swipe the question aside, feigning ignorance. He didn't want to talk about this with the guy who had broken Blaine.

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

"Oh please Kurt, it's obvious to everyone except Blaine" Jeremiah laughed, his gaze flicking away to the stage momentarily. They couldn't be seen from the stage due to the amounts of people in the bar, so Blaine couldn't see Jeremiah.

_I know it's hard, know it's hard_

_To remember sometimes,_

_But you gotta keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

"So what do you want from me? I haven't told him alright?" Kurt said turning his own eyes away from Jeremiah to look broodily into his drink.

_Keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_Keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down, eh._

_Keep your head up, oh,_

_And you can let your hair down._

"You are going to have to someday" Jeremiah said simply, as if this was a fact. Kurt was about to respond when the song ended. He turned around and clapped, just as the group started in on their next song.

"Why? Why do I have to? Why can't he live his days peaceably, not having the burden of knowing his best friend is in love with him?" Kurt brought a hand up to his mouth, it was the first time he'd said it out loud. He usually didn't allow himself to think of the word love about Blaine. But his reasoning seemed weak now.

"Because, I've heard before that if someone never realizes they hold your heart, they can never break it. That can be both good and bad Kurt. Sure, you'll never be thoroughly heartbroken, but you'll also never be able to move on."

"Why are you sitting here Jeremiah, giving me this advice?"

"Because I think, deep down, I did love him, if only a little. Never as much as you though. He needs you, whether he realizes it or not. You're good for him Kurt, in a way I never was"

"But, you left him. If you loved him how could you leave him?"

"I said I loved him a little Kurt. It wasn't enough to stop me from cheating and lying. I'm not one to be tied down, Blaine was safe and oblivious"

"I can't tell him, all he can talk about is what a great best friend I am, it would ruin our friendship"

"You're always thinking about him Kurt, what about yourself? This is your chance at love or freedom. I'll leave you with that, just think about it" Jeremiah stood from the stool and left his empty glass on the bar. Kurt watched him push his way through the crowd, disappearing amongst the bodies.

"Kurt! Are you okay?" Blaine's voice worked its way through Kurt's heavy thoughts and Kurt looked up to find the singer looking angry. Oh no, he must have seen Jeremiah.

"Where did he go? Did he hurt you?" Blaine's worried gaze checked Kurt for injuries. Kurt shook his head, both answering the second question and trying to dislodge the thoughts Jeremiah had planted in his brain. Blaine's hands made their way to his shoulders, grasping there as if trying to steady Kurt.

"Why are you so pale? What did he say to you? That bastard, I swear I'm going to-" Kurt cut Blaine off by grabbing his wrist, preventing him from running after Jeremiah like it looked like he wanted to.

"No I'll be fine, he didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry you had to see him and get so worked up at my expense. Really, he just gave me a few things to think about"


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: I'm sorry this took longer; my internet was down for a few days. It was also strangely hard to write this chapter. I don't know if that's hard because it's more from Blaine's point of view and I'm more used to writing Kurt's or if it's just the slow moving content of this chapter. Anyway, there isn't any music in this one, I'm not entirely sure there will be any more. By the fact that I managed to stretch this entire thing out into one whole chapter, this means that there will be two more. The next will be from Blaine's perspective as well. I'm just so happy that I think I'm actually going to finish something. Thank you to everyone who reads this, I'm just ecstatic that you actually are. If you don't believe me ask the people I've been babbling to mindlessly, I think they've had quite enough of me.

Just a note to those of you wanting Kurt to move on and make Blaine jealous, I think he's already tried. In my thoughts he's tried mutiple times to date other people, and he's always felt horrible because the way he still has feelings for Blaine. It feels like he's emotionally cheating on them. Blaine never got jealous because he never knew Kurt liked him, and was pretty oblivious to Kurt's feelings. Jeremiah's advice was actually pretty good for Kurt, the only way he's ever going to move on is to get over Blaine. There's a good chance that will never happen unless Blaine breaks his heart. He can never do that if Kurt never tells him. And now I end the rambly author's note. /

Blaine looked down at the torn out piece of notebook paper on the kitchen counter. Kurt's elegant handwriting was scrawled across it, and Blaine admired the neat and orderly writing he himself had never possessed despite the aggravating words the paper held.

'_Sorry Blaine, I'm going to be up late working. Feel free to order takeout.'_

Beside the note was a piling of all the take out menus Kurt had. This was the fifth night that Kurt wasn't going to be eating with Blaine. Actually, Blaine had rarely seen Kurt the past five days. The designer always seemed to be busy whenever he caught a glimpse of him.

From what he saw of Kurt, he was worried. He looked tired, overworked, dark lines forming underneath his blue-green eyes. He constantly found wrappers from bandages on the kitchen table, for the band aids Kurt was wrapping around his fingers when he pricked them on a needle. He could hear his sewing machine going at all hours, which wasn't a good sign.

Back at Dalton, whenever Kurt was upset about something, he threw himself one hundred percent into working. Countless times Blaine had dragged him away from studying to eat or sleep after there had been another scare with his dad's heart. The pale, tired boy would protest and try to go back until Blaine had safely tucked him into bed and he'd fall asleep right away.

Blaine walked down the hall to Kurt's workroom, his hand poised to knock on the door. He needed to figure out what was bothering Kurt, he was his best friend. He knocked, waiting patiently outside for Kurt to answer. When there wasn't any response, he knocked again, and then he tried the handle to find-

_It was locked_. Kurt had locked the door to his work room. Blaine couldn't help but feel hurt, Kurt wasn't going to let him help, they were best friends, and they were supposed to be there for each other. He tried knocking again, only to be met with the same silent answer.

Blaine felt a little stab in his chest, what if Kurt was upset with him? What had he done in the past five days to possibly create this space between them? Had it been Jeremiah, or Blaine's reaction to him? What had he done wrong?

Frowning, Blaine went back into the kitchen, shuffling mindlessly through the menus. Finally selecting one, he typed the number into his cell. He gave his order to the bored sounding teenager on the other end of the line. Blaine moved over and sat on the couch, his mind still replaying the events that had led up to this where he possibly could have upset Kurt.

When the food came, he tipped the young man and took the bags to the counter. As he was pulling the food out, Blaine discovered that while he'd been lost in his inner thoughts, he'd ordered for Kurt too. Blaine looked sadly down at the food that probably wouldn't get eaten.

He left it on the counter, hoping Kurt might be enticed by the smell and choose to join him. He ate slowly, as if waiting for the door to open and Kurt to come out. It didn't happen; Blaine put his empty dishes in the sink.

Blaine felt lonely, a feeling that he wasn't particularly familiar with. He'd always had friends and family around him. Kurt had always been there. Even after this latest fiasco, Kurt hadn't left him alone to wallow, he'd collected him up. Yet now he was pushing him out and literally locking him out.

With one last glance at the door, Blaine plopped onto the couch. He flicked on the TV hoping he could wait Kurt out and catch him coming out of the work room. Blaine flipped absently through the channels, finally settling on an old movie.

About an hour later, he could feel his eyelids starting to droop. He fought back the wave of tiredness fiercely; he really needed to talk to Kurt. But in the end he was defeated, his eyes falling closed as he fell into unconsciousness in front of the television.

The next time he awoke it was still dark outside, the clock on the microwave read two thirty in the morning. He wasn't quite sure why he had woken up when he heard the sound of a door closing. Had he missed him? By the shuffling of feet down the hall, Blaine was glad he hadn't.

Blaine watched as Kurt entered the kitchen/living room area, and as his eyes roamed over to him he shut his quickly. He didn't know why he did it; he just didn't want to scare Kurt back into hiding. Blaine heard Kurt sigh, which suspiciously sounded relieved.

As Kurt moved into the kitchen, Blaine cracked his eyes open to see what he was doing. Kurt moved around the counter, reaching up into one of the cupboards to retrieve the box of band aids. Kurt quickly unwrapped one and placed it around the finger with the newest pinprick.

Blaine saw him pause and look down at the food on the table, his long fingers pushing past the plastic to find the food Blaine had mistakenly ordered for him. A fond smile came across his face as he pulled the food out, and Blaine felt he'd done something right.

Kurt piled the food onto a plate and grabbed a fork from a drawer. He looked about ready to head back to the work room, but he stopped, setting down his plate for a moment. Kurt looked like he was contemplating something for a moment before he started heading for the living room.

Quickly shutting his eyes, Blaine tried to slow his breaths and feign sleep as Kurt got closer. He heard the TV being silenced, and the remote being set back on the table. Suddenly, there was a blanket being pulled over him, Kurt making sure the cloth covered up to his shoulders.

It was silent for a few moments and Blaine wondered if Kurt had silently left. That was until he felt gentle fingers pushing aside the curls on his forehead, and then the soft touch of lips on the same skin. It was short, Kurt was soon pulling away.

"Goodnight Blaine" He whispered before Blaine heard him move back to the kitchen and pick up his plate, and then going back to his room.

Blaine laid there and tried to work this out in his mind. Kurt couldn't be mad at him right? Not after what he'd just done. Blaine couldn't figure it out, why was Kurt avoiding him? But still, something made him wonder, why had Kurt sounded so sad?

The bright sunshine shone through the large open windows in the apartment, Blaine tried to shield his eyes with a pillow. Unfortunately, that also meant he had woken up and wouldn't be getting back to sleep anytime soon. Groaning, he tossed his feet to the floor.

Fingers worked rapidly through his hair, trying to smooth out the tangled mess it had probably become. Sleeping on the couch was definitely not ideal, the knot in his back agreed. Blaine groggily rubbed at his eyes, still not quite aware.

Slowly he stopped, remembering why he'd been out here. Blaine's hazel eyes scanned the room but Kurt had moved back into the safety of his work room. Standing, he untangled the blanket from around his legs. Turning back, Blaine carefully folded the fabric; he didn't want to make Kurt more upset than he already was.

Blaine hesitated a moment before heading down the hall, stopping in front of the work room door. He needed to settle this, he missed his best friend. Well, that and he was worried about Kurt's health. At least he'd eaten the food from last night.

"Kurt, let me in we need to talk" Blaine knocked on the white door. He waited, but there still wasn't any answer.

"Kurt, seriously, I'm going to be out here until you let me in. I'm not going to let you work yourself into the hospital" He knocked on the door harder this time, his hand almost stinging from the impact. When Blaine still didn't get a reply he slumped against the wall, he was serious about waiting Kurt out.

After about ten minutes the door opened, Kurt peeking out, probably to see if Blaine had left. When he saw Blaine sitting next to the door he hurried to close the door, and would have had Blaine not stuck his foot in its way.

"Ow shit!" Blaine reached out and grabbed the door and pulled it open, relieving the pressure on his foot. Still, he hopped a little as he moved to stand in Kurt's doorway.

"What do you want Blaine" Kurt asked, arms crossed over his chest and trying his best to look annoyed. The look was ruined however by the sheer look of exhaustion the boy carried. Blaine's eyes were drawn to the dark circles under Kurt's eyes. The normal, not upset, Kurt Hummel would be absolutely appalled.

"I want to know why you're avoiding me. Did I do something to make you mad?" Blaine asked, leaning against the door frame as Kurt moved back to his table of fabric.

"Oh please, I'm not avoiding you" Kurt protested, refusing to look up at Blaine.

"Really Kurt? You haven't talked to me in five days; those little messages don't count as talking" Blaine could hear his own anger in his voice and tried to tame it, reminding himself this was to help Kurt.

"I've just been busy" The useless little answer made Blaine want to shake Kurt, but he resisted. It didn't do anything to help the pang in his heart that Kurt refused to open up to him, his supposed best friend.

"Kurt, I know when you're using work as an excuse. You did it all the time in high school" Kurt's head moved upwards, meeting Blaine's eyes finally. He looked a little sad at the reminder.

"I grew out of that. Why does everything revolve around you Blaine? I have my own life you know, a job?" Kurt ranted; he'd tried avoiding Blaine, now it seemed he was going to use anger to push him away.

"Why won't you tell me what's upsetting you?" Blaine's voice dropped, all of the anger dropping away for the simple question.

"Because Blaine, I can't" Kurt shut his eyes closed, his voice was still sounding stressed.

"Do you…hate me?" Blaine asked him tentatively, like a small child might. He was afraid the answer would be yes.

"No Blaine! I could never-" Kurt burst out, his eyes snapping open. There was pain his eyes, regret at making his best friend ever think that?

"Then why won't you tell me?" Blaine interrupted, pleading with his eyes.

"I can't, it would ruin everything" Kurt shifted his eyes from Blaine again, down to the fabric he was twisting in his hands.

"Kurt, it won't, just tell me" Blaine was startled when Kurt moved towards him. Kurt gently pushed him into the hall.

"I'm sorry Blaine, I can't" With that he shut the door, leaving Blaine out in the hall.

Blaine stood there for a few moments, stunned. What could Kurt possibly be hiding that he was convinced would hurt Blaine so much? He slumped against the wall again, spreading his feet out in front of him. The only thing Blaine heard from the room was the faint scratches of a pen.

"Blaine" Kurt's voice woke Blaine up from where he'd apparently fallen asleep leaning against the wall. He looked up at Kurt, who was standing beside him, an envelope in hand and a black suitcase behind him.

"Where are you going?" Blaine asked quickly, fearful that his best friend really was mad at him and was leaving because he couldn't stand him.

"I have to leave for a fashion show in Paris for a week" Kurt said simply. The dark circles under his eyes seemed to have gotten smaller, and Blaine hoped that was because he'd finally gone to sleep.

"Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Blaine didn't remember him mentioning anything about it.

"It's sudden, something about someone's collection being stolen and whatnot. There was a slot to put some of my pieces on display and I took it" Kurt sighed, brushing back his hair in the way Blaine assumed had to be trademarked.

"But we still have to talk about what has you so upset" Blaine tried, he didn't want them leaving on bad terms. They needed to talk about this.

"That is what this is for," Kurt pushed the envelope in his hands toward Blaine "I need you to read this, you'll probably hate me afterwards but I can't take living like this anymore"

As soon as Blaine had it in his hands, Kurt turned and grabbed the handle of his suitcase. He was out the door before Blaine could think to say another word.

The room was so silent, as if in anticipation. Blaine looked down at the innocent looking white envelope in his hand. His name was written across the front in Kurt's delicate handwriting. He flipped it over; nothing was written on the back. All that was left to do was tear it open.


	6. Chapter 6

A/N: Chapter six! We're almost there! Only one more chapter to go until this is finished. I'm actually really excited, I've never written fanfic before this and I wasn't even sure if I'd ever finish this. Look at me now; I have a six going on seven chapter story. By the way thank you for all the reviews on the last chapter, who knew leaving it at a cliffhanger could get you guys so riled up? This one is sort of a cliffhanger too, I hope you don't mind. I also hope the letter lives up to everyone's expectations; I tried to get the emotion across. I'm sorry if I didn't for you. I know I said that this would be from Blaine's perspective, but when you look at it it's mostly the letter. I was surprised at how long the letter got, Kurt had a lot that needed to be said. Also, there's not much you can say about a guy who is lost in his own thoughts and moping. Alright I think it's time to close this rambling note now. I hope you enjoy!/

_Blaine,_

_I love you._

_I just needed to say that first of all. It's true, though I've been denying it for years. I've loved you since high school. I think I knew even on those stairs at Dalton that you were someone I could fall in love with. I'm not saying I loved you at that moment; I'm a little more realistic than that. But I do think I loved you within that first year, maybe even within the first month._

_Before you read the rest of this I want to make one thing clear to you, this is not meant to make you feel guilty. I am not writing this letter to hurt you in any way. So before you start the 'Why haven't I ever noticed? I'm horrible' that I know you will, don't. You can hate me, despise me, never want to see me again, but don't for one second take this out on yourself. _

_I guess it started as an infatuation. You were popular, attractive, and always there to play my knight in shining armor. It was no wonder half of the freshman class was in love with you. Remember that one, the red haired boy that practically drooled at a Warblers performance? I swore he was going to jump right out of his seat and tackle you. But, truthfully, I probably was no better than that freshman._

_Over time, it moved past that, I learned that you weren't perfect. I think that's when I really started to love you. I'd finally gotten used to the Dalton schedule, and started waking up before you did. I almost burst out laughing the first morning I saw your curls. You'd forgotten to wash the gel out the night before and they'd been sticking up every which way. It was adorable, and I still prefer it curly than the helmet hair you used to have._

_I do have to say though; the fastest you fell in my eyes was when I looked in your closet. Honestly Blaine, you had no fashion sense at all! I was there to rectify that, thankfully. Sure, I influenced your taste a bit, but you still make sure that everything is comfortable. But I think I was most surprised to find I didn't care that you prefer comfy rather than fashionable._

_We still need to work on your obsession with everything and anything that is junk food. It's really not healthy and it's a wonder that you've been able to keep that teenage boy metabolism. I know you used to hide them all over our dorm. By the way, I haven't yet, but if I find any of your snacks in the cupboards in my kitchen I'm throwing them out. _

_I think the final thing to smash your shining armor was you. All of you, opening up to me, letting me care for you. I loved you even more for every part of your soul that you bared to me. That might be why I also let you in fully, you know things I haven't even told my dad. We knew how to care for each other because we knew all there was to know. Though, in your eyes we were just best friends._

_I nearly cried the day you came back to our dorm, your eye swollen and purple. You looked so broken, sitting there on the edge of your bed. You didn't tell me what had happened until two days after. I let you cry into my shoulder while you told me about your dad, and his attempts at 'straightening' you out. I've never wanted to hurt someone so much as I did that day._

_How could anyone want to ever change you? To me, you're wonderful the way you are .You're my childish, funny, sweet, fashion-challenged, musical, sexy , and trusting best friend. That was why I fell in love with you. That's why I've loved you all this time. To even think of someone wanting to change all of that is saddening. _

_I know at one point you looked up to your dad, it's understandable that a father is at the center of every young boy's universe. But he truly didn't deserve a son like you. I was happier when you started spending more time with your mom. I know that you had been upset with her in the past for divorcing your father, but in truth, Tracy is a good woman. _

_I know you've probably been wondering something, 'Why me Kurt? There are plenty of other men out there; I was just the first gay man you met'. I tried, I really did, and I thought if I dated other men my infatuation with you would go away. Yet, I found myself comparing them to you. John had the same curly hair, but his eyes were blue. Erik had your smile, but he was taller than I was. In the end it didn't feel right to stay with them when all I thought about was you._

_I threw myself into working, focusing on my career instead of my non-existent love life. I actually met Linda at a bar; we'd both had really bad days. Her boyfriend of seven months had broken up with her and I'd just found out you were moving in with Jeremiah. We bonded over our heartbreak, and I found out that she was looking for a job. So you actually played a role in hiring my hard-working assistant. _

_Linda actually became my support, cheering me on when it came to you. You know how I couldn't be reached a few days after you left the message about Jeremiah accepting your engagement? I'd gone out after I'd heard it with the intention of drinking myself into oblivion. Linda forced me out of the bar and back to her place, then let me sleep off all of the alcohol I'd consumed. _

_I think she almost punched me the day I told her we'd be planning your wedding. Linda did slap me; it hurt like a bitch too. But, she went along with it, despite the amount of stress I'd be putting her under. Linda hated it, but she knew I'd never do anything to upset you. I promised myself the day that you came back looking broken, that I never would be the one to make you look that way._

_Do you really want to know what Jeremiah said to me that day? He said that you could never break my heart until you knew you had it. I can never move on Blaine, until you break me down so that someone else can heal me. I need to tell you all of these things for myself, because I've always been thinking about you and now it's time for me to think about myself. I'm tired of loving someone that doesn't love me back._

_So I want you to break me. Smash my heart until the pieces are so small that they're dust. Then I want you to let me pick myself up, don't you dare put on your shining armor. I need someone else to mend my broken heart so that I can stop feeling so lost. Sometimes I feel like a part of me is always with you, but instead of being in your hands it's stuck to the bottom of your shoe. You didn't mean for it to be, but it's there none the less._

_Again, this isn't to make you feel guilty. I love even the fact that you can be oblivious sometimes. But this is for me, because this is what I need. I love you more than I can imagine loving anyone else Blaine, but this hurts. I can't stand the pain anymore. We can be friends; at least I hope we can. You'll always be my best friend, nothing will change that. I just hope I can still be yours. I can't even hope for more than that._

_I love you._

_Kurt_

Blaine's eyes drifted upward from where they had paused at the bottom of the letter. They rested at the top of the page where Kurt had started with his name. He loosened his hands from where they had crumpled the paper. All at once his whole body seemed to let go, flopping backwards and sending the four page, handwritten letter flying.

As he tried to calm his harsh breathing, Blaine realized he didn't know when he had started crying. He pushed his sleeve across his face, trying to rid it of the wet trails. He felt awful, how could Kurt try to tell him to not? He had been stupid, selfish, and blind. At least now Blaine knew why Linda always shot him glares.

Staring up at the ceiling, he tried to let this new information sink in. Kurt loved him. He'd loved him a long time. He'd been hurting a long time. Now he wanted Blaine to break his heart.

The question now was, how did Blaine feel? To be honest, he didn't know anymore. Usually, Blaine was so straightforward with his feelings, but now everything was just a jumbled mess. His heart was warmed with Kurt's feelings for him, but Kurt had always been his friend. In short, he was confused.

Blaine spread his arms out on the floor, his fingers touching the scattered pieces of the letter. He wasn't sure exactly how long he'd lain there; it'd been more than a few hours at least. His back hurt from lying on the cold hardwood floor. He did eventually sit up, looking up to where the sky had dimmed in the large windows.

Now he could think clearer, his thoughts more organized than they had been a number of hours ago. He thought of Kurt, his perfectly styled chestnut hair, his eyes a perfect blend of blue and green, his clothes that fit him just perfectly, and his nearly shining pale skin. More than that even, his sarcasm, his caring nature, his ability to be a bitch at the best of times, his belief in everything healthy, and his secret obsession with chocolate.

Once, he'd thought about being in a relationship with Kurt. But at the time he'd convinced himself that all that Kurt needed was a friend. When was it that Kurt hadn't needed a friend anymore? Could he have missed out on something wonderful because he hadn't been able to make that distinction?

Blaine's stomach rumbled and he realized that he hadn't eaten all day. He rolled himself up, trying to avoid looking at the letter still lying on the floor. Unlike Kurt, he still found the necessity to eat, even when upset. He pulled leftover Chinese out of the fridge, not up to actually attempting to make anything. Blaine had never been any good in the kitchen anyways, that had always been Kurt's thing.

After heating it in the microwave, he sat on one of the bar stools at the counter. Blaine ate slowly, trying to prolong the task as to not have to return to his thoughts. They were confusing him and leaving him with more questions about himself than answers. Blaine stuck his fork into another piece of chicken, focusing entirely on the meat.

It did not last nearly as long as he'd wanted it to. Soon, the curly haired man was back to wallowing in his thoughts. Though, this time he'd picked a comfier spot on the couch. Blaine had yet to pick up the letter, though he almost wanted to read it again to make sure he hadn't imagined it.

He eventually left the couch in favor of going to his room. The memory of the night before Kurt left for Paris was still fresh in his mind and was not helping to clear up his thoughts. His room was a safe place, Kurt had rarely entered the room, he usually complained about the mess. Though the pictures he had on his desk still terrorized him.

This went on for the next few days, Blaine's thoughts slowly becoming clearer as the time went by. All he could think of now was what he was going to do, should he move out? But by the end of day five, Blaine had an answer of what he was going to do then as well. He could only hope that Kurt accepted his decision.


	7. Chapter 7

A/N: It's the end everyone! I didn't know if it would happen but it did. I'm actually very happy with how my first fanfic turned out. I hope to write again soon. But anyway, the conclusion! This is mostly a Kurtish point of view, I kept having trouble with that after the last two being Blaine's. I suppose the last fest paragraphs can be considered an epilogue of sorts. But I really wanted those last two lines so they needed to be included. I also wanted to keep Blaine's reaction semi-reasonable. I mean, he thought of the guy as his best friend for years. I hope you all like the last chapter! It's been so much fun; you guys have all been really great. I really do appreciate everyone who reviewed it, you guys rock. Anyway, the end has come, enjoy!/

Kurt shifted in the uncomfortable seat, trying to relieve the pain in his aching back. He'd been cursing these seats for a good 7 hours. He simply decided whoever invented them must be truly sadistic. Then again, he was using the seats as an excuse not to think about other problems.

The show in Paris had kept him busy, the constant flurry of patterns, colors, and models kept him thoroughly distracted. But here, on a 7 hour flight, there was nothing to occupy his mind.

His iPod only worked until a song came up that reminded him of Blaine, and there were a lot. The games on Kurt's phone proved a good distraction, until he remembered that Blaine always begged to play them. Magazines helped keep his mind away for a time, until Kurt realized all of the magazines he'd brought were Vogue, Blaine's favorite.

Sleeping seemed to be the best option, and he was exhausted enough to. He'd caught the early morning flight, after spending the entire night packing away all of his designs after the show. So his head hit the window almost as soon as he boarded the plane.

Kurt woke up about four hours later, his face was red from where it had been pressed to the window and there was an ache in his back. But, he couldn't fall back asleep, so he was stuck trying to entertain himself.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we will now start our descent into New York" The captain's voice spoke to the cabin and Kurt mentally cheered. Until he realized he'd have to face this a lot sooner. What were the chances Blaine wouldn't be there when he got home? Slim, very slim, Blaine would want to talk about this; Kurt had left him that letter.

That letter, why oh why had Kurt done that? Was he really that mentally insane? He could have just ruined their friendship forever. While telling Blaine felt like a fifty pound weight off his chest, another was added at the thought of losing his best friend forever.

Shaking his head to try to drive those thoughts from his head Kurt realized that the plane was at the gate and people were already leaving. There was an extremely annoyed brunette woman in the aisle waiting for him to leave his seat, as it was his row's turn to leave.

Surely Blaine wouldn't hate him? He'd still want to be friends, right? Oh what was he saying? Of course he'd ruined their friendship, what one would expect from telling your best friend something like that. Something like telling them that you love them.

Kurt's fingers tapped impatiently on the edge of baggage claim two, he wanted to get out of here. No matter what, he needed to know what Blaine was thinking. Even if what he was thinking hurt. Finally, his fingers closed around the handle and he hauled it away from the masses of people swarming like vultures to get their own luggage.

It was a short ride back to his flat; he'd gotten a taxi at the airport. Kurt stepped out onto the street, and stood there for a moment before steeling himself. He stepped into the elevator, hitting the button and fisting his hand tightly around his suitcase.

It was only when he was standing in front of the door to his flat, did his confidence disappear. He could take one step through that door and lose a friend forever. But he could also be keeping his friend; Kurt couldn't even dare to hope that Blaine might feel something for him someday. Well, no, there was a small part of him that hoped that.

Closing his eyes, Kurt pushed open the door. The room was only lit by the sun filtering through the downtown buildings and through the window. Kurt opened his eyes searching for Blaine. He spotted him on the couch, his hazel eyes looking up to meet Kurt's.

"Blaine, I'm so sorry. Listen, I understand if you don't want to be my friend anymore. You probably hate me. I know Rachel and Finn have an extra room if you feel uncomfortable living with me. I could call the guys to help-" Kurt's rambling was cut off as Blaine raised his hand to silence him.

"I don't hate you Kurt and I don't want to stop being your friend" Blaine raised his hand again when Kurt tried to interrupt "Just listen to me for a minute okay? You've said your piece when you gave me that letter. Now it's my turn to say mine."

Kurt walked silently over and took the seat beside Blaine, folding his hands in front of him. Blaine reached over and lightly placed his own warm calloused hand over Kurt's. The young man's blue-green eyes stayed on their hands instead of looking up at Blaine.

"I don't love you. I need to say that first. That doesn't mean I can't love you nor does it mean I won't. Kurt you just sprang this on me a few days ago and for our entire relationship I've only viewed you as one. Well, there was a chance in the beginning, but I believed you needed a friend more than a boyfriend."

"Back to the point, I thought I was in love with someone else for a long time. One letter and a few days are not going to change me in an instant. I need time to figure this out and try to look at you as something other than a friend. You've been so patient with me Kurt; I just need you to wait a little longer. Wait to see if I can say I love you back."

Kurt sighed and stood up, removing his hands from under Blaine's. He started walking toward his room, only to be stopped by a hand at his wrist. Kurt looked back to find Blaine's hand grabbing firmly at his arm and stopping him from leaving.

"Where do you think you're going Kurt?" Blaine asked raising one of his thick eyebrows. Kurt looked confused for a second before responding.

"You said you needed time, I was going to give you some space. You could probably still use the guest room at Finn's. I know it's not the best but it'd give you somewhere to-"

"Kurt, honestly will you just shut up and let me finish? I said I needed time, not space. I don't want to space myself from you anymore. These past few weeks have been enough isolation for a lifetime"

"What are you talking about?"

"Kurt Hummel, I would like to court you" Blaine stated it evenly, his eyes earnestly staring up at Kurt. Blue-green eyes blinked rapidly, as if trying to decipher if this was a dream. Finally deciding it to be reality, Kurt smirked.

"Seriously Blaine 'court' me? No one uses that term anymore" Kurt laughed. Blaine seemed flustered, as he tried to come up with a response.

"Well what did-"

"I'd love for you to court me Blaine" Kurt interrupted, smiling sweetly as he leaned down to give Blaine a small kiss on the cheek.

"Jerk" Blaine muttered, but he was smiling as he stood up to pull Kurt into a tight hug. Kurt's arms wrapped around Blaine, and he couldn't tell you how much he missed hugging his best friend. Blaine's hugs were the ones that made you feel warm, protected and safe. They made you want to squeeze him tightly and never let go.

"Umm Kurt? You have to let go now, I have to plan our first date" Blaine said shifting to get out of Kurt's grasp.

"Blaine, you had all week to think about this and you didn't plan for what would happen if your plan would work out?" Kurt asked titling his head to the side and laughing.

"I wasn't sure you would say yes, you did ask me to break your heart" Blaine countered smirking as he walked off to his room.

"I didn't know you were going to do this!" Kurt called as he watched Blaine walk through the door way into his room and he was left out in the living room.

He stood there for a moment before flopping onto the couch and screaming into a pillow like the mature adult that he was. Kurt set the pillow back down and laid back, a wide grin on his face. He heard a noise from the hallway and looked up to find Blaine watching him; apparently he hadn't closed the door to his room yet.

"Smooth" Blaine said with a smirk, dodging the pillow that Kurt tossed at him.

Their first date was a picnic; Blaine had packed all the food and found the perfect spot in a park close to their flat. Their first kiss was on that gray and blue striped blanket, leaning over the mass amounts of food Blaine had packed for them. Their lips met softly, brushing against each other quickly before both retreated, a hint of a blush on both their cheeks.

Blaine procured tickets to a concert for their second date. It was someone relatively unknown, but good none the less. Blaine and Kurt sat near the front, their intertwined fingers sat on top of the table. They leaned over to kiss a couple of times or to talk in the other's ear when the music was too loud. If Kurt's lips brushed the shell of Blaine's ear every time he talked, who was anyone but Blaine to notice?

On date three, the boys decided to stay home and watch movies. It had been a long time thing between them, even if now they were something a little more than friends. Blaine and Kurt cuddled close under the blanket tossed across both of their laps. Though, their eyes seemed to stray from the movie to each other more often than not.

Date number four Blaine took Kurt out to a fancy French restaurant. Both of them were dressed up, Blaine had needed Kurt's help choosing a suitable outfit. The menu was long and Kurt was the only one who could read it, but Blaine didn't mind. They had fun figuring out what the dishes were and Blaine couldn't deny that he loved to hear Kurt speaking French.

They both decided date number five would be at Blaine's next show. Blaine finally convinced Kurt that he needed to sing with them, and the two did a couple of numbers together. After the band was done, Kurt and Blaine sat in the back, drinking and chatting until they were slightly buzzed.

They had been sleeping in their separate rooms up until now. But as they stepped in the door, they couldn't seem to keep their hands off each other. Sloppy kisses and hands pulling at clothes as the pair walked through their apartment. Finally, Kurt grasped the front of Blaine's shirt and pulled him through the doorway of his room shutting the door behind them.

When Kurt blinked his eyes open the next morning it was to find a pair of hazel eyes looking back at him. Blaine had an arm propped under his head and just seemed to be watching Kurt.

"How long have you been awake?" Kurt asked quietly, deciding to break the silence.

"A while" Blaine answered easily. He didn't say anything more for a while and neither did Kurt. They just laid in the comfortable silence, eyes meeting. Eventually their eye contact broke and they each moved their eyes down their lover's body. Hands reached out to trace a vein, splay across muscles or just simply to touch one another's skin.

"I love you" It was soft and Kurt wasn't sure he'd actually heard it until he looked up to meet Blaine's eyes. It was the look he'd always wanted from Blaine, and here it was right in front of him. Kurt must have looked shocked because Blaine chuckled lightly. Realizing he hadn't answered yet, Kurt blushed and said what he'd yet to say out loud.

"I love you too"


End file.
